Honest Trailers – Divergent

Honest Trailers – Divergent


Based on the young adult book trilogy about
a dystopian America divided into competitive sections, this doe-eyed
teenage heroine must lead a revolt against a ruthless dictator who– Wait, guys, we did this one already. It’s The Hunger Games. “No, John, it’s not The Hunger Games.” It’s not? Are you sure? Because it looks and sounds
exactly like the Hunger Games. “Yeah, there’s no fight to the death in this
one.” So, it’s the same movie but without the actual
games? That sounds horrible. Divergent. Enter a world inspired by a woman who read
The Hunger Games and said to herself: “I can change that slightly and make a ton of money!” Journey to an overly-complicated future where
every teenager’s career is determined by a test that places them into one of five factions,
each based on a single personality trait — unless they test positive for more than one,
which makes them a Divergent, but it’s different from being factionless which basically means
you’re homeless. But the test doesn’t matter because they can
choose whatever faction they want, which leads to another series of tests. “There are two stages of training. You’ll
be trained separately from the Dauntless born, but you’ll be ranked together. After initiations
rankings will determine what jobs you move into.” “The rankings will also determine who gets
cut. At the end of each training the lowest ranking –” Ugh. The bowl of names in the Sorting Hat
were a lot more straight-forward. Gryffindor! Volunteer as tribute to one of five factions
each named after a different SAT word. There’s Abnegation, The District 12s, Erudite, The Slytherins, Amity, The Hufflepuffs, The… Other One, and Dauntless, the cool faction that plays
games, gets tattoos, and does parkour that every teen would choose
to join. Because no teenager in the right mind with
ever choose to be a f***ing farmer. Meet Tris, a secretly Divergent Abnegate turned
Dauntless who’s just as insufferable as this sentence. She’s a heroine you’re not embarrassed
to like, who’s smarter than Bella and more decisive than Katniss. But that won’t stop her from getting her
ass kicked. A lot. Witness a creepy romance bloom between Tris
and her much, much older trainer with an equally dumb name. “My name’s Four.” “Four like the number?” And thrill as these rebellious Divergents
uncover an evil conspiracy to eradicate an entire district — I mean, faction. Watch things heat up as Shailene Woodley and
this super hot tattooed hunk make out, while fighting against Miles Teller who she made out in The Spectacular Now, and being related to Ansel Elgort who he made out with in The Fault In Our Stars. Eeeesh. It’s like a quarter quell of guys Shailene’s
porked. Sit back for a film full of things that are
obvious attempts to pander to teenage girls like staring at yourself in the mirror, having perfect hair no matter how much you work
out, hot older boys who see how special you are
on the inside, “I know exactly who you are.” and telling them that choosing your clique
is the most important decision you ever make. “Faction before blood.” So get ready to be left hanging, while our
two love interests outsmart the evil government, then ride off on a train into a uncertain
future. Guys, I’m telling you. We did this already. Starring Kattris, I am Number Four, The Fault in our Co-Stars, Kilometers Teller, Old Rose, Mekhi Phive Minutes of Screen Time, Kat Von D, and Cinna’s Daughter. Not the Hunger Games. Yikes, one kid with hepatitis and they’re
all going down!

100 thoughts on “Honest Trailers – Divergent

  1. Thanks a lot Stephanie Meyer for thinking you can be JK Rowling. This is why Harry Potter has a phone app and 50 Shade fans are single because no one sane likes BDSM.

  2. Lol. Wow, you're mean.

    But thank you for noticing the weird love/hate/whatever triangle they put Shailene in… I couldn't get over it.

  3. so she made out with her mentor (?) her rival and her brother… welp that's all we need to know kids the end

  4. 0:22 your half right, Divergent is the hunger games if the quality was actually really good the entire time and wasn't inconsistent.

  5. I love it cause it's funny but at the same time i hate it cause it's making fun of the movie and i love the movie.

  6. Did anyone else notice how Shailene Woodley has lazy rich white girl body and could never realistically actually be the bad-ass gymnast/fighter/athlete character she plays?

  7. Cinna's daughter lol but with who and when cause Cinna's dead πŸ™ (okay I know this is a joke)

  8. The first two books were good but the third book was so terribly boring I didnβ€˜t even read it halfway through.
    Someone tell me if it gets better towards the end pls lol

  9. Tobias is two years older the movie sucked next to the book so for all those haters who say the movie sucked… read the book

  10. This Starring…. I just couldn't breathe πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ NOT THE HUNGER GAMES AJSISJSKSJSKS brilliant

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