Narrated D&D Story: How The Poor Rogue’s Bad Luck Keeps Getting Worse

Narrated D&D Story: How The Poor Rogue’s Bad Luck Keeps Getting Worse


[Channel Teaser] How The Poor Rogue’s Bad Luck Keeps Getting
Worse This story was submitted by one of our very
own viewers, Geoffrey. Thank you! My friends and I have been playing D&D for
a while and were a party of mercenaries. We began at Level 3 with a starting job that
involved some undead cleanup at an old mansion. Our Rogue was having some bad luck, but personality
wise he was quite overconfident. A number of times he set off traps without
checking for them, and several times he failed to unlock a door. Luckily we had a Half Orc Fighter and Goliath
Barbarian in the party at the time, so a lot of doors got kicked down rather than opened. We had to kill off a PC when the player could
no longer attend. He was killed by the Goliath out of mercy
after becoming a werebeast during a mission. As we moved on, we eventually had a job where
we had to investigate people being taken away from a resort town. We had an NPC with us, an Asamar Fighter / Sorcerer,
as at the time there were only 4 of us actively attending the sessions. During my character’s training with her
direwolf companion, the beast found a strange sealed bottle buried in the sand of the beach. She took the bottle to the NPC, but we could
not properly identify it. A bard NPC gives us a lead to check the docks,
and we interrogate a ship captain where an unseen force causes one of us to drop the
bottle. It hit the dock, breaking the seal on the
bottle. A djinni slithered out in a cloud of inky
smoke. It wasn’t exactly happy with having been
trapped in the bottle and lashed out at the nearest people standing by. Us. The player that played the Goliath Barbarian
was unable to play at this point, so the DM said that our meat shield decided to get wasted
on booze and was nursing a wicked hangover at the inn. Me getting used to Beastmaster Ranger, I used
Spike Growth early in the fight while my friends used ranged attacks to deal chip damage to
our target. After our first round of attacks, the Djinni
summoned an air elemental, and the battle intensifies. During the next round, the air elemental blows
my direwolf companion into one of the nearby ships, and the impact dropped his HP to 0. Now the companion is now too far away from
the party to heal. My ranger finished off the Djinni after it
took heavy damage from moving around in the spike growth field. A critical attack from her twin hand crossbows
finished it off and I rolled a nat 20 on my companion’s death saving throw, so the direwolf
tries to rejoin us. During the fight, we are having a hard time
with the air elemental as it resisted many of our attacks. So my character switches to healer and support;
eventually, our fighter is blown off the pier and my character is blown into the water about
20 feet away from my direwolf. Our Rogue is now going solo with the air elemental,
and has taken heavy damage from the fight. He then makes a last ditch effort. The Rogue uses cards as his weapon, and he
has a strange power that allows him to turn the normal playing cards into metallic razor
sharp weapons that he throws — think Gambit, only more slashing less explosion. Our Rogue makes his attack roll… Nat 20! The DM describes how the Rogue uses his power
and slashes the Air Elemental in half with a magical card, but afterwards his hand is
turned into metal. We investigated the town, and we found that
vacationers were being captured by the Drow and forced into slavery. We reported back to our guild leaders and
now we had to go into the underdark to free the slaves. During our trek into the underdark, we are
joined by two Drow which were hired to help us. One was working under another NPC that we
knew, and the other helped us after we aided him with a hydra issue which he was going
through. The plan was to split the party. One group led by the leader of the Harpers
Guild. Miss Wintergreen would lead a team to distract
the Drow forces allowing the other team to sneak into the underdark to rescue the slaves. The player who played our Goliath Barbarian
was running late so he was a part of that main force along with the Tabaxi Cleric NPC. They ran into a group of Drow Clerics, and
battle ensued. Miss Wintegreen and her forces were winning,
which caused the Drow Clerics to become desperate. They called out to their Arachnid goddess
and their prayer was answered. Miss Wintergreen understood what was about
to happen and used a teleport spell to send the Barbarian and Cleric to us. They barely escaped when the goddess struck
down everyone, including her own Clerics, before disappearing. Now with the party back and reunited, we engaged
the hydra. We made quick work of the hydra and we found
a safe room that was locked. Our Rogue failed his trap check, so I supported
him with a Find Traps spell. The Rogue then fails to disarm the trap. As a result, myself and one of our Drow friends
are poisoned by an unknown venom. My character and the NPC were having a hard
time fighting off the venom, as every time I did my CON saves, I would pass one and then
fail the next, pass another and fail the next, then fail another… you get the point! Our Drow friend, however, did not survive
the poison; and overnight, while we rested, he died in his sleep. What’s more, his body burst open, revealing
a black ooze monster we had to fight. I was healing and trying to support the party…
as due to the sickness many of my rolls were penalized… as my character was becoming
weaker and weaker… as I was getting more and more failed saves. YEAH! A lot of “as’s” going on here… The party now has to make an antidote for
this poison, and one of the ingredients needed was blood from a Goliath, and our Goliath
Barbarian party member did NOT want to donate his blood to the cause. The player apologized after the session. He wanted to help but his character was selfish
and simple minded, though we managed to convince him. After that, we made the antidote and cured
my character. Voila! We travel in the underdark, and we come across
a cabin in a cave. Our DM is giving us details about the cabin
due to several high perception rolls, as well as us seeing that as we walked towards the
cabin, it did not seem like we were getting closer to it. The guy playing the Rogue leans over to our
Barbarian player and whispers… “Psst, hey Rockjaw… Fastball special?” The Goliath player turned to the Rogue player,
and gives a look of “The hell man…?” and then makes an intelligence check. The player interrupts the DM mid-sentence. “I pick up Remmy, and I throw him into the
Cabin!” “Y… You what?” The DM asks. “Rockjaw picks up Remmy, and throws him
into the cabin!” “Whose idea was this?” The DM Glares at the Goliath player as he
and myself both point at the Rogue player who is grinning like an idiot. “Make a…” “Already rolled Intelligence, and Rockjaw
thinks it’s a good idea.” The DM looks at me as I say, “Don’t look
at me, you and I BOTH know Rockjaw is going to do dumb things regardless of what we say
or do…” The DM sighs and says, “Roll strength with
advantage… “ as our Rogue is a wood elf, and because we want to see a Nat 20… “Okay, with advantage I got a 23 and 24,
no nat 20’s” The Goliath picks up the Rogue and throws
him with all his strength at the cabin, and we all see the Rogue fly completely through
the cabin like it wasn’t there. “Okay, make a dex save, Remmy…” The DM replies as the player grins. “Great, this is going to be fun.” He said confidently as he rolled his d20 and
pauses, still holding his confident expression as we look at the roll. “I got a Nat 1…” “Oh no…” The DM replies as he describes how the Rogue
tries to turn himself to land with a skid and an epic pose, only to instead go back
first into a stone wall, breaking his back, paralyzing him from the waist down, leaving
him helpless on the ground. We didn’t hear this as players, so Rockjaw
decides to tie a rope to his greataxe, and throw it into the cabin. Once more we watch as the axe goes completely
through the cabin, narrowly missing the now paralyzed Rogue. Remmy desperately grabs the axe as Rockjaw
pulls it back like a fishing line. As Rockjaw pulls Remmy towards us, the cabin
begins to shrink down in size, attempting to trap Remmy within it. They pull the rope, desperately dragging Remmy
out. His legs barely clear the shrinking doorway
as the cabin snaps to the size of a D6 and then vanishes with a POP. However, we cannot heal him. We can only keep his pain managed. However, we now had another issue: our Rogue
can’t walk, how do we continue our mission? The Tabaxi Cleric had a floating baby carriage
made for her children when they were babies, so she summons it to us and we place the Rogue
into that said Baby carriage, and we Professor Xavier’d him for a few sessions. The cruel twist of fate that is the dice! How have so many cool ideas have been undone
with a natural one? Have your plans ever backfired spectacularly,
and like this manner? Please let us know and comment below! Don’t forget to subscribe to our channel,
All Things DnD. Our next video will be posted in 3 days, so
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100 thoughts on “Narrated D&D Story: How The Poor Rogue’s Bad Luck Keeps Getting Worse

  1. Played a ranger with cursed dice. On a navigation check to evade a pursuing army, DM rules that we successfully evaded but lost a lot of time. The army believed that my terrible course was a trick and continued where they thought competent evaders would head, which we weren’t, because I screwed up so much.

  2. So, rogue nat 20s and gets his hand turned into metal. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing. But considering he later gets paralyzed by a nat 1, I have to assume the GM just doesn't like the player/ character.

  3. Oof. Had more than a few games go like that for me. Had dice that just hated me…until I started playing ultra-conservatively, and then they loved me…but that doesn't make for cool stories.

  4. It was fun to hear and many of the comments were fun to read so far.

    I should start recording my D&D sessions and posting them on my channel.

  5. Love the idea for that rogue though.

    Gambit has always been my favorite since X-men tas!

    Partly for the crush i had on him ( yes, i am that way) and partly for his suave, cajun demeanor.

  6. In our party we have a half-orc bard who, intentionally, does stupid stuff.

    Deep hole in the floor? Jumps on in.

    Sees beautiful painting? Kisses and slobbers all over it.

    Own drool on floor? Slips and hits head.

    At least when my noble human sorcerer with draconian ancestry does something stupid, at least it wasn't on purpose.

    Halfling dangling by one hand on a rickety bridge over a pool of acid in training dungeon – attempts to save him and fails strength/dex check and drops halfling in instead.

    Locates chest in abandoned house. Tries to unlock it, only to fail at unlocking it. On plus side, it was unlocked all along, and I get money. Then I get attacked by a twig blight.

  7. yuo i was in a tree and shooting arrow down on some goblin and my whole party was down to zero HP ( party member : mage, barbarian, fighter, ) the goblin set the tree on fire so i had to jump roll a nat 1 fell down the tree and got knocked unconscious the was getting raped by the goblin (he was a dark elf male BTW) and from my backstory my character was a prince that fled his kingdom because my family was killed by the brother of the king and one of the knight that was folowing came and save all of us but the mage got an std and had one chance to die from it on D100 and had to make a roll every day because of it and it was not curable so before the last battle to kill my uncle (BBEG) he rolled it and died on getting 100 on his dice and we did won but later on i got killed by an evil crown i got from a drop and it was the end of the campaing real fun !

  8. Out of curiosity, where does one go to submit stories?

    I have a tale about a cleric that renounced a deity, revived another, and turned a coffee pot into a holy relic, all while learning that even the most inadvertent mistake can be turned into good.

  9. Group was sneaking into a young dragon's lair while it was sleeping, I was playing a rogue and tried to sneak around to the back of it, but rolled a nat 1 for stealth and ended up kicking a rock waking the dragon which attacked our Wizard who had our only source if light.

  10. Had a rogue that wanted to get across a broken rope bridge by running along the only piece of rope connecting one end to the other and holding up what was left of the bridge. Guy got a nat 20 on his athletics. However, the rope was far to old and frayed to properly support him and began to give out under his weight about half way across.

    So paladin decides to save the poor rogue by throwing a rope to him, hoping he would catch it before the rope under his feet broke. Poor rogue got a nat 1 perception check so didn't see paladin through him his life line. Also I had already mentioned that gorge they were crossing was very windy so not only did he miss the rope but also failed on his dex save with another nat 1 as a gust of wind made the rope he was on top of unstable enough to cause him for nearly loose his balance. Then the rope broke due to the extra strain .

    The rogue had just enough time to mutter a, "Oops…" Before plunging to the river below. We ended up having an interesting side quest of having to track down the rogue after his near deadly fall followed by a fast moving river carrying him several miles away. In the end, the rogue would suffer from fear of heights and the paladin would feel guilty about not being able to save someone close to him, even though it was the own stupid rogue's hubris.

  11. Wait… he got a nat 20 on his attack roll against the air elemental and as he killed it he got his hand turned into metal? Is the hand turning into metal supposed to be a good thing? Or did the DM decide that even when he does do something cool something bad should happen to him?

  12. Wtf? Rogue rolls a nat 20 kills the air elemental but his hand turns to metal? Wtf? That is nat 1 kinda stuff! This sounds less like bad luck and more like bad dm!

  13. Had a session in 3.5 a couple years back, I was playing your typical half-orc barb. We came across a skeletal dragon and my character decides it's a good idea to run up its back and saddle its spine while he wails on its neck with his great axe. He was even smart enough to ready some rope to tie himself to it so it couldn't buck him off (he was fairly shortsighted). However, the cleric in the party hadn't noticed him scale its back and cast turn undead, maxing her die rolls. Before I had a chance to tie down the dragon immediately took off into the air and I regrettably made my first dex save, staying on instead of falling off. I then continued to make 5 more dex saves, barely holding my grip but ended up sliding down onto its leg by the time it turned around. It's first action upon landing was ofcourse to proceed to stomp my character and lay across him to pin him down for the remainder of the fight.

  14. Oh, Lolth… Killing your own priestesses after helping them because they are weak and begged for help… How typical of you

  15. Hey All Things DnD, thought I'd point out there a bit of an editing mishap around 1:02 – 1:05. Still awesome video as always!

  16. I was going to kick a doppelganger out of window that was three stories above the ground before we knew it was one and rolled a nat one. I missed and went out the window after hitting my groin on the edge. I took a d6 worth of damage from the hit. I managed to take little damage from the fall, though I was low on health and ended with one hp left. We ended up killing the doppelganger at least. Thankfully I rolled pretty well for my paladin's health.

  17. When you mention how the dice screw us over you reminded me of a time I was playing a rouge and got two nat one attack that got both of my weapons stuck in a mimic

  18. I had a half-orc barb and we walked into a high level dungeon. My character wasn't very bright so when our party was investigating they were curious where all the other people were. So my character took a deep breath and bellowed out "ANYONE HERE!" To which the dm stared at me, chuckled, and told me I hear a response and everything nearby swarmed our position.

  19. In my current game I play a wild mage half-elf and my dm gave me a wand off chaos. Every time it is used it gives a different effect depening on how the dice is rolled. I was planning to use it in battle against a group off skeletons that had surrounded our cleric aaand it fired a fireball. All skeletons reached 0hp but so did all the pc's and myself. We would have died if it wasn't for our cleric, he had an ability where he can heal hp for every killed undead near him, meaning we got out off that with hp ranging from 1 to 3 hp.

  20. dm really could've chosen a better punishment than forcing a character to become paraplegic, maybe broke a leg instead, so that the healer could berate him for being stupid while healing him? I understand punishing stupidity, but that was too much imo.

  21. Reminds me of Botching Billy. Didn't cripple himself like that, but he was responsible for single-handedly creating or empowering most of the enemies the party faced. Examine a sealed door? botch Oh, its fine. breaks the seal. Attacked in the forest by a spirit?Role perception/Spot, roll lore botch both Fireball! Dryad trees start burning.

    Good times.

  22. Once we were assualting an orc stronghold and I climbed over the wall and leaped onto a tower with five orc archers in it. As I eliminated the tower presence 5 allied rangers were engaged in melee below. I then tried to jump off the tower and strike down two orcs underneath me. The dm told me to roll attack with advantage and I got two nat 1s. I facepalmed my nose into oblivion. I ended up almost killing my character with that roll.

  23. mind if i post my Story?

    https://www.reddit.com/r/dndstories/comments/brpcbs/how_i_charmed_charmed_a_doppleganger_with_drow/

  24. Ive used to throw idea in the hoard of the dragon queen campaign. We were entering a fortress in the second session I was in for it and our tabaxi monk who made his own potions made one to make himself 3x larger for three hours. Tripling his strength. So he threw me with a readied second/third level spell of thunder wave into a rather large group of enemies. I failed the Dex save but kept the concentration and quite literally blew those frog men away!

  25. Oh half-orc barbarians… mine would give our rogue the time it took him to get there to unlock the door and be all stealthy before he kicked the door down. He was never fast enough, but got in several flanking bonuses.

  26. Unrelated to the video but I've got a character idea I want to run by some actual D&D players. Namely a Pixie Necromancer who travels in the ribcage of a Skeleton wearing armor. Is there anything in the game that would prevent this or make it unworkable, and if not would you still be able to cast any spells from inside the armor or do they all require line of sight? I thought of it as a sort of "big twist" character that I would love to play if I ever get the chance, after all, who would expect the Fighter to actually be a Pixie in a Skeleton.

  27. Lol, what crummy but funny luck that rogue had. It's just funny thinking about a wood elf in a carriage for small children.

  28. I tried to throw an unconscious npc over my head and past fire in a somersault sort of way. As a trifling warlock, I wasn't the strongest or most dexterous but I had just pulled off an epic combat action roll through a window, so I was extra confident. Roll. 4 Dex. Npc clears the fire but lands face first into the floor

  29. It was my second Party (er… don't ask what happened the first time) trekking into the GREAT RED WYRM'S lair… The dungeon (the other PC's noticed) was dubiously quiet, with a peculiar trail of loot laying out a direct route through the labyrinthian structures… ALL the way to the archway and heavy iron doors into the lair itself.
    This time, our Rogue drew his Magical Blade of the Assassin (1 chg to kill anything on a hit left) and we made stealth checks (including my above average half-ogre Rogue/Fighter) on our way inside… My half-ogre had oiled the doors before leaving the last time…
    Carefully, the half-ogre, the high-elven magae, and a dwarven warrior/cleric made their way around some distance from the dragon's head… Our duty involved distraction, to keep it busy for the half-elven rogue. His duty (by choice) was to climb above and slip down (or jump) to the dragon's head-neck for a solid stab. He'd only get one try, but as he put it, "If this works out, it's gonna be epic." AND he bit the blade of the weapon "pirate style".
    The GM said he'd need three dex and strength checks to get to a choice position above the dragon, and that meant three good stealth checks to avoid disturbing the beast. AND (of course) we had to make our checks to avoid disturbing it "as it plays out"…
    The first checks, all successful… and the rogue ascends about a third the distance. Our team stays together to a reasonable stone about a hundred feet or so in front of and aside "slightly" of the dragon's face.
    The second checks… the dwarf and half-ogre make their way from the magae to a large stalagmite with a blackened skeleton nearly melted into it directly in front of the dragon, about fifty feet. The magae had no check to sit tight at the first stone… The rogue managed to get nearly sixty feet above the dragon, but his stealth check just knocked a few stones loose (missed by three points) and they dinged and tinkled next to the dragon.
    The huge wyrm stirred, and opened an eye lazily. It's terrible gaze very subtly illuminating the ground, many sparkling treasures, and scattered bones of lost adventurers before us… scanning like a soft spotlight… and the magae had to make a Wisdom check by 4 to avoid freaking right out as the light passed near him.
    The scan continued around slowly, and that's when the rogue decided to continue his climb, since the eye was scanning along the floor anyway… His stealth was alright. His Strength was good… BUT Dexterity, off by two…

    "You've picked a bad one, slick and wet between minerals and something like pond scum", The GM warned. "Try another Strength to keep from falling, since it's strong enough to make it… and you can earn another Dex."
    "Made IT!" The rogue's player beamed, and the rest of us sighed heavily… partially relieved.
    "Okay," The GM nodded. "Dex to shift to a different handhold, a better one.
    "Damn!" The Rogue's Player complained. "Fumbled!"
    "In character or out?" The GM asked. "You're going to land right on it's head… and you didn't call it."
    "What?" The Rogue's Player asked.
    "You're falling on a fumbled roll," The GM clarified. "Are you swearing in or out of Character?"
    "In…" Suddenly the Rogue's Player realized what he was responding to, and a horrified expression crossed his face as the rest of us Facepalmed…
    "Okay…" The GM looked exceptionally amused. "The dragon's gaze is approaching you, two, and suddenly you hear 'damn' as the rogue's body topples backwards from nearly straight above it." He lays out a "body-chart" we'd dipped out of GURPS just for hit-charts (2e didn't operate with those)… "The dragon obviously hears him, too… Initiative? or Int to see if it can pinpoint you?"
    "INT," The rogue's Player groaned. "It's really my only chance. I didn't take acrobatics."
    "You could Dex it," The GM almost taunted. "You sure?"
    "Just roll."
    "Oh yeah, it sees you easily in time," The GM produced 3 D6's…" AND as it looks up… You'll land on it's… head… wow…"
    "What did you even roll for?" The Rogue's Player asked. "If I was the dragon, I'd just chomp whatever was falling. Wouldn't that be THAC0?"
    "I'm trying to give you a chance," The GM responded. "By the way, when you swore, what happened to that magic blade?"
    "He knows to swear through his teeth on a climb," The rogue's Player was just not on his game, already resigned and shaking his head, eyes closed.
    "Out of Character?" I spoke up. "Are you even trying over there?"
    "What?" The rogue's Player wanted to know.
    "That's a blade of instant death, you idiot," I reminded. "You've got it IN YOUR MOUTH if he swore through his teeth."
    "Shit…" The rogue's Player's eye opened wide, and he grimaced.
    "Okay… Okay," The GM chuckled, waving his hands for quiet. "Here it is…" He let us chuckle and settle our anticipation. "The rogue topples backwards right out into space. 'Damn' He's still trying to keep his shit together… but the dragon sees him too…"
    "Do we have a chance at anything?" The dwarf's Player interrupted, a finger in the air.
    "Like?" The GM asked. "And make it QUICK."
    "I don't know, the half-ogre could run up and knock hell out of it." The dwarf's Player suggested. "Redeem himself for getting his last party killed. I mean… I'm sure he feels a bit guilty about that, being like a rocket scientist among ogres and all."
    "You've got fifty feet to clear in less time than he can free-fall about twenty and the dragon's already raising and opening his mouth." The GM pointed right at me. "Roll Intelligence."
    "Made it," I shrugged. "Not great, but made it."
    "Even if you get there, that's a hell of a jump even for you," The GM explained. "This is a Great Wyrm. It's f***ing huge! You'd have to run at least forty five feet, and jump hard enough to get twelve feet off the ground just to hit it."
    "Feather fall," The magae suggested.
    "That makes him light as a feather," The dwarf retorted. "He couldn't knock the hell out of a mosquito like that."
    "Oh…"
    "Sorry, dude," The dwarf shrugged. "We… got nothing,"
    "Well… " The GM sighed and rolled a D20. "Please fumble that." It was a 20… "Wow… The dice hate you tonight."
    "Go ahead," The rogue groaned.
    "Chomp…" The GM took the rogue's Character Sheet.
    "Aw man…" The magae complained. "We can't even get his shit. He was wearing it all."

    …in the end, it was a hell of a slog, just to get out of there. We did manage to blind the thing, though it dropped the magae (whom I salvaged on the way to a side tunnel up into the volcano's chimney)… AND we finally took the beast out on our third return… having encountered a mysterious Monk near the top of the mountain…

    The three of us (dwarf, elf-magae, and half-ogre) had the Monk help us later build a small grave-site shrine, whereupon the magae wrote an epitaph, "It would've been epic, if it only worked."

    *Note*… Fumbles and Crit's have always been "optional" in D&D… AND we knew the norm was to only use them on attack rolls… The Table VOTED to allow them all the time, and the GM also allowed for us to get to skills and levels WAY above whatever the books regarded as "canon"… AND I don't toss anything online I wouldn't give away. ;o)

  30. Just yesterday, I was in a session where a Nat1 absolutely wrecked a party member.

    We were confronted by orcs heading in our direction. They haven't noticed us yet due to dim light conditions, though. There were seven of us, and we all made individual stealth checks to try and hide. Four of us had a high stealth skill one way or another and didn't need to roll high by any means, our Tiefling Warlock flipped a Nat20 on his "Coin of All or Nothing" homebrew item, and I rolled high enough to pass even though I had low stealth and I still don't think I should have passed. Our Goliath Fighter was not so fortunate though. He rolled a Nat1 on his stealth, and the orcs are fast approaching his location. How do we address it? Our Changeling Wizard (Pandora) had a plan to distract them.

    At this point, I had to leave because I really had to pee. I missed the dice rolls, but I was informed that everyone watched Pandora try to cast a damaging spell of some sort to try and get the jump on the orcs. I don't blame him. I did the exact same thing the day before with my battleaxe and rolled a 4 on the dice even with advantage, but I digress. All six party members and the DM were eager to inform me that Pandora rolled a Nat1. I'm not familiar with spells past the 3rd level for I have never used a spell caster past the 5th level. I don't know what spell was used, but it was an attack roll based spell that can deal lightning damage. Our DM uses a severity dice house rule when Nat1s are rolled, and on this one, he rolled a 100 right before I walked in. Pandora failed whatever spell he cast so miserably that he cast it on himself, and he is now making death saves with a fail already on record. Our Arcana Cleric healed Pandora enough to stabilize him, and a fight broke out. Pandora survived, but I think he now has a broken leg.

    Just funny things happening and plans ruined because of a Nat1 I wanted to share because it fits the bill here.

  31. So as a warlock tiefling I was able to capture a sentient Adventure slime later on in the game I tried to use him to destroy some assassin with my friends I end up getting trapped down a hallway with the Demonic door in front of me and the Slime devouring Assasin behind me luckily the Assassin was using a spear I picked up the spear and tried to pole vault over the Slime I rolled a Nat 1 what's a advantage to acrobatics I lost my legs from the Slime devouring them and had to be carried around by our Barbarian for three sessions before affording new mechanical legs

  32. Multi stage, potentially highly lethal, venom recovery, paralyzing on a fumble, and transmuting on a crit success? All at low levels?! Killer DM is killer…

  33. Paralyzed from the waste down for a failed dex save? Nah. Nat 1s shouldn't permanently ruin a PC. That's just ridiculous.

  34. A campaign I was in was a 5e homebrew World of Warcraft campaign set during the Wrath of the Lich King. I was having a great time with the dice that night. We traveled to a graveyard and some openings in the ground had a strange teal glow coming from deep within. I was playing as gnome hunter. We had a Human Death Kinght and a Blood Elf Warlock. So we make our way into the underground system of tunnels trying to find the source of the light. Well we get to an open room and soon find yourself in another fight with some spiders. There is a larger room down another tunnel and we can't see into it. I confidently volunteer to check the other room. I roll to see if I stealthily move around and then to see if I see anything. Nat 1 on both. I March right in to the large room and kicking and skittering bones across the room. And not being aware of the danger in the room ends up being snatched up by a spiderweb and dragged off. Sadly we never got to finish that campaign, the DM moved away.

  35. Your problem wasn't bad luck, it was the fact that you had a lousy dungeon master. It sounds like they were actively trying to tpk the party for no reason.

  36. Ok. So playing an UltraModern 5 campaign. My character, a private eye, has to convince a search force that we were chasing a terrorist that sabotaged a power plant, when it was the party that sabotaged the power plant. Heh. But anyways things are going well. Until they ask the question. "You were chasing a terrorist?" I say "Yes."
    DM: "Make a deception check"
    I proceeded to roll a nat 1, and the whole operation was compromised. We were taken captive, and I lost my job. But we ended up finding a terrorist, killing him, and now I am part of a task force.

  37. My dnd character has almost killed their party many times and every fight has gone down lol. It’s my first dnd character so I’m still learning how to play… several months later.

  38. PSA: A Natural 1 on an Attack roll means the attack automatically misses. On an Ability Check or Saving Throw, you simply add the bonus as usual. There is no special effect for a Natural 1 by default. If you are a DM intending to have Natural 1s be extra bad for players, be sure to let them know beforehand.

    If you're a player, the DM hasn't mentioned such a house-rule, and you roll a Natural 1 on anything but an Attack roll, feel free to simply add the 1 to your bonus as normal and give the DM the total.

  39. Yeah I have had some awful rolls with my character….so my dude is a gold Dragonborn, barbarian-arcane trickster rogue-bronze dragon disciple who deals with strictly wild magic (as part of my DM’s decision) I tried to use hideous laughter on a noble and rolled a 5 for wild magic…the chart we were using ended up saying that he turned into a zombie….then infected the rest of the town square…there’s a story for how we resolved it but it’s kind of long…maybe I’ll put it down later

  40. I'd love to know how to submit my own stories.. lol.

    Back a decade or so ago, my friends decided to torment our DM by creating an all Halfling party in the DM's homebrew world. (Big Bads named after confection candies, half rakshasha half breed mobs with super high spell resistance, etc…)

    My character was a Barbarian, a huge step away from my comfort zones of sneaky type scouts and rogues. A previous session had us…technically…trespassing in an Elven kingdom. The patrol that confronted us was led by your typical Elven xenophobe, and proceeded to attack us, despite our face bard convincing the rest of the patrol or our, not quite innocent, trek through the lands to deliver supplies to a town just past their lands, as, as any halfling party can attest, we were a caravan consortium. After mopping the floor with the patrol, my barbarian, somewhat angry at having to fight before breakfast, chopped off and kept the "angry elf boy" patrol leader's head as a trophy.

    Flash forward a few sessions, and, in typical murder hobo fashion, we had burned down a village in an attempt to sew chaos to hide our escape from a corrupted half celestial cat folk that was our DM's pride and joy (and ultimately the BBEG of the campaign).

    Our company really…REALLY hates retreating. So when we did, last acts of defiance were common. This time, my Barbarian was the one who performed it, by throwing the now bare skull of the patrol leader he had kept as his favored trophy.

    Me: called shot for the head.

    DM: err.. improvised throw? And more than 10 ranged increments away? (Improvised throwing weapons have a 10 foot ranged increment in 3.5)

    Me: can I do a strength check to double the increment? (Halfling Barbarian, enraged, means I had 26 strength)

    DM: sure. DC…25 for this.

    I roll a 19, just passing the check. Ok.. so called shot… -2, improvised throwing weapon.. -4… target AC… 24. I need a 19 or better to hit.

    Nat 20.

    Roll to confirm…

    Nat 20.

    The skull is launched into the air with such force, it impacts the future BBEG's face and knocks her straight out. My barbarian, in triumph, screams "Skull of DOOM!"

    My DM, after watching us roleplay through a now straight kidnapping and interrogation, is rolling like mad. No clue as to why.

    Until the end of session, when he hands me a note. Carl Glittergold, god of halflings, was so amused by the feat, he decided to gift my Barbarian. The skull magically returns to my bag it was kept in, now with +5, Divine damage type, and returning, thus making it a non improvised throwing weapon just for my Halfling.

    I wish I could say it became the thing that won us the campaign, but sadly, the company decided to disband after some of our exploits and shenanigans landed most of us titles, lands, and nobility. Still, likely the most unexpected thing i have done as a player to accidentally mess up a DM's story.

  41. Permanent character paralyzation on a Nat 1 is the sign of a shitty DM. Especially if said player didn't even have a choice cuz he was thrown.

  42. "lol Rogue's bad luck"

    Translation:

    "Uuuggghhh I cant believe one of my players wanted to play a rogue. Better fuck with them until they get depressed and want to roll a new character."

  43. My rogue had similar or lower luck. In the 5 or 6 sessions, I played with him I ONLY GOT 1 SUCCESSFUL SNEAK ATTACK. An mix of no other mealy range chartarts, and some truly unlucky stealth and attack roles saw my rogue become the tank of the group, do to an great blesing I got in an life event roll. Then in an another I got kidnapped by the Fay, and the rescue atemp was ended when the party mistakenly walked into the shadofell…

  44. My character has double attack, so I’d roll two D20s at the same time. Then I managed to roll double bat ones during combat. Fortunately my character only managed to trip and knock herself out.

  45. Paralysis for a single fumble? Jeez, what ever happened to just taking damage? Or at least roll for an injury check.

    Next session I imagine that when a player got a 1 on an attack roll against a cat, he impaled himself on his own sword and died

  46. I had a scenario where I was playing D&D with some people, my halfling rouge jumped on top of a giant spider with a successful dexterity acrobatics check, but failed on the attack roll… tried to stab the spider in the back with my double daggers, and bent the blades, causing no damage.

  47. Well, I think my most interesting dice experience that was good/bad objectively was during a session of Starfinder. I, an Ysoki Mechanic who was also our infiltrator and medic, was with my party on a space station to rescue another party member. I made my way into the control room of the station after triggering an alarm on the other end of the station. To simply put it, I stealthily gained lone control over its systems. Fast forward a little bit, and our morally ambiguous group decided that we wanted to steal some weapons from this station. So now comes the fateful roll. My alarm had drawn the staff of roughly 60 mixed personnel to one section of the station. What I planned on doing was active the fire suppression system to hinder them from leaving the area I locked them in.

    Nat 20.

    So, what I thought would happen was that the section would fill up with foam that's used to suppress fires in places like an airplane hangar, and they'd be busy wading through it.

    The DM was kinda miffed about our good fortune, so he twisted it. Oh, I successfully activated the fire suppression system alright, but did NOT cover them with phone. He described that, because we're in space, the most efficient way of snuffing a fire was to lock a section down, open an air lock, and suck out oxygen and anything not tied down indiscriminately.

    So that, my friends, is how I accidentally murdered about 60 people in a matter of seconds.

  48. Interesting story…. and I'm sure to get fireballed for this… but why do so many of these stories seem to have people playing Dungeons and Douchebags as opposed to Dungeons and Dragons? Whatever happened to collective storytelling and the "rule of cool" rather than DM tripping up the players at every single turn?

  49. That's not the dice being cruel, that's the DM being a prick. This is just a DM who hates the player for no reason. He got a good attack and was punished for it for no reason, and he rolled a poor save (Most systems I know don't have crit failures built in, a 1 is just another failed save) and got a permanent debuff for no real reason. I suspect that DM would also be the type to say 'Nice crit, the force you shoot your arrow with is so significant it snaps the bow. Make a reflex save as the bow snaps, if you fail this you're losing an eye and 1d6 points of Int from brain damage'

  50. Ok that was just funny but reminded me of one event which sadly the game isn’t played anymore.
    Our group I joined in later and ended up being a male Centaur fighter, full plate and tower shield as they didn’t have a tank.
    The small human female ranger Ventris got herself into some trouble opening a door in a dungeon which had an enemy ready behind it through a hole it was looking through.

    Remi my centaur was behind her taking up most of the hall way and seeing the threat as she was still knelt down having worked on the lock she would be caught by the surprise attack.
    He grabs her and tries to throw her behind him, to which I roll a nat 1 and she’s is tossed into the door frame knocked unconscious.

    So now Remi has to stand over her to protect her and given said centaur is in full plate including his horse half which had a long leather to chain mail then plate kilt/dress like set up for protection which I liked the idea the party is laughing as all they see are her feet sticking out from under the horse.

    The jokes wouldn’t stop that they would be together and the other PCs would pop in on them including a mischievous whelping who played havoc making them end up cuddling in their sleep.

  51. reminds me when my rogue always rolled 1 at key story moments. he ended up losing his soul when a magic box that trapped the souls of the recently deceased was used by an enemy drow. my character was still alive but the DM described him as feeling dead inside. my rogue was a street urchin so he was very protective of the little possessions he did have, so losing something he didnt know he could was very disheartening to him and he would have perused that drow to the ends of the earth if the campaign hadn't ended shortly after

  52. I have an insane changeling wizard who has been living in a place called the Forrest of insanity in a Homebrew setting. She went into a cave with the party and long story short, swarms of bot fly like spiders attack and start boring into our parties body. I'm getting lucky with my rolls, so the spiders have yet to bore into me, which lead me to whisper in my characters voice, "They're not attacking me. Maybe I'm a spider." I later find out that the spider swarms have an AC of 12, which was the same as my character. So I say again, louder this time (also as a joke out of character) "Hey guys! I'm a spider!" Then my turn came around. Cast spider climb on my character and ran up the ceiling. The spiders were speaking abyssal, and though my character doesn't speak abyssal, she remembered how to say hi. So she stood on the ceiling and just repeated "Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi." at the spider swarms, trying to convince them that she was a spider as well. They believed her and started telling her to join them and eat the other party members. She was standing on the ceiling right above the fighter and was going to leap down and bite him on my next turn (cause she was a spider after all) but our tiefling paladin heard/saw what she did and was able to speak to the spiders even more, claiming that since one of their brethren is traveling with the party then that means we're all friends. The spiders removed themselves from the party members body and my character sadly walked out of the cave, saying goodbye to her new spider family tearfully as she left.

  53. And this is why skill checks do not officially crit fail or succeed on 1 and 20. If you are playing that way it is a house rule. And what was that crap about his hand turning to metal on a critical success? Penalized for doing well? Sounds like a pretty shitty DM to me.

  54. Sounds like the DM is compensating for some personal issues… apparently there is alot of that going around at game tables these days…..

  55. Wait… why did his hand turn metal ? Okay.. finishing more of the video….
    The GM's kind of….an asshole? or does he simply hate the rogue?
    or the group agreed to some harsher playstyle. which can be neat.
    Lack of context I suppose makes it tsound odd

  56. Many times I been F over by a nat 1 and every time that happens I feel a small part of me fall in a pit of fear. But of course everyone else is having fun and failure is just a part of the game. So might as well have a smile on my face when it happens right?

  57. … The second I saw this title, I know this EXACT pain. ONE ROLL TO THROW A KNIFE IN MY FOOT ON ACCIDENT, MY PARTY MAKES LOUD NOISES AS I SNEAK AND NEARLY GET ME KILLED BY GOBLINS, AND MORE. ALL IN ONE SESSION.

  58. Another DM that doesn´t know that in 5 ed 1es and 20s are only relevand in attacks, not skills or even saves.
    Seriously, people: Read the frickin rules!!!

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